Match Seeker Pillows

"I just wish it wasn't so hard to meet a nice guy with a good sense of humour who believes in all the same conspiracies that I do."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Sitting in a tree

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"I, TikTok."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Baker Romance

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Message in a bottle being read by a fish

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

Speed Dating.

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The Wishing Well

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.