Love Seeker Pillows

Speed Dating

"It's just not working out. I'm sure with proper medical treatment, community support and social rehabilitation you'll eventually meet that special someone."

"That's the dating guru."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

Large Hadron Dating Service

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

"What can I put behind my ears to attract men?"

'You could be more selective in your choice, Mr Jones.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'It's not you, Karen. It's our matchmaking service.'

Sexual chemistry set.

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

Catching Love

"Healthy, wealthy and wise, for starters ... "

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'I'd like to go to the one most deserving'

''Udate.com'... well I bet THAT's work related.'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

How to impress women.

Cupid failed.

Plenty more eligible bachelors in the sea.

"Actually I'm here looking for Ms. Right!"

"Ideally, I want a guy whose eyes will well up but doesn't actually cry."

"I'm a beggar in the house of love."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

"It's a small country with an acute shortage of babes."

Be my Valentine when all this is over

"No, sorry, we're not that lonely."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The men of your dreams