Online Love Seeker Pillows

'Wow - you're even prettier than your picture on 'Date'Em.com!''

Online Dating

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Sitting in a tree

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Baker Romance

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

Speed Dating.

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

The Wishing Well

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

'Telephone call for Mr. Right!'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'Marriage? With all your pre-existing conditions Reggie, my HMO would never approve of you'

Funnel of Love.

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

How oysters get engaged.

'Are you sure you know what you're doing?'