Romantic Seeker Pillows

"Do you have anything that will make us as deliriously happy as the couple in this cruise magazine?"

'I'm new here. Where are the ladies?'

"Ken bats left-handed, enjoys cultural as well as outdoor activities, and seeks a sensitive non-smoking woman for a lasting partnership that includes long walks, good music, and fielding practice."

'You must be the young-at-heart, 40 something, country loving, non smoking, veggie with the GSOH,'

'Excuse me, I'm looking for companionship in a big way.'

'Is generic okay?'

"I'm sorry, we're right out of lottery winners hung like giraffes"

I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.

"Dear Dating Agency...."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'Just between you and me, they're all pheromones.'

Dating Vending Machine

"I'm still single. The stud finder I bought only locates nails."

"Sorry, I'm looking for Mr. Right."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

Sitting in a tree

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Baker Romance

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

Speed Dating.

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"No, I don't still think about him - I'm with YOU now."

"Why so grim, handsome?"

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. I thought we were just dating."