Romantic Seeker T-Shirts

"Do you have anything that will make us as deliriously happy as the couple in this cruise magazine?"

'I'm new here. Where are the ladies?'

"Ken bats left-handed, enjoys cultural as well as outdoor activities, and seeks a sensitive non-smoking woman for a lasting partnership that includes long walks, good music, and fielding practice."

'You must be the young-at-heart, 40 something, country loving, non smoking, veggie with the GSOH,'

'Excuse me, I'm looking for companionship in a big way.'

'Is generic okay?'

"I'm sorry, we're right out of lottery winners hung like giraffes"

I'm looking to settle down with a nice light bulb, should I try the internet.

"Dear Dating Agency...."

COMPUTER DATING SERVICE, 'I'm not sure we have a girl with THAT good a sense of humor.'

'Just between you and me, they're all pheromones.'

Dating Vending Machine

"I'm still single. The stud finder I bought only locates nails."

"Sorry, I'm looking for Mr. Right."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Something romantic, perhaps?"

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Sitting in a tree

"Mating dance? Good luck with that. I couldn't even get my husband to do the chicken dance at our wedding."

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

Baker Romance

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

Man browsing books see couple kissing in romance section of book store.

Speed Dating.

"Well, I finally figured out why we were going to the vet so often for check ups! He finally plucked up the courage to ask her out!"

'Bearing in mind I'm a man of few words - how much?'

Manners And Customs Of Ye Englishe: A Pic-Nic

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

The Wishing Well

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .