Love Seeker Gifts

Speed Dating

"It's just not working out. I'm sure with proper medical treatment, community support and social rehabilitation you'll eventually meet that special someone."

"That's the dating guru."

"Romeo,Romeo. Are you online,Romeo"

'Pinocchio, under the 'would like to meet' section you've put 'fun-loving brunette made of oak'. This may prove difficult.'

Large Hadron Dating Service

'Speed dating really works! Our first date was Friday, we married on Saturday, and now I'm happily single again.'

'It's not you, Karen. It's our matchmaking service.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Sexual chemistry set.

'You could be more selective in your choice, Mr Jones.'

"Healthy, wealthy and wise, for starters ... "

Catching Love

"What can I put behind my ears to attract men?"

'Always the usher, never the bride.'

How to impress women.

''Udate.com'... well I bet THAT's work related.'

'....in fact, I don't even know why Mrs. Goldberg put us together.'

An elderly woman with a heart-shaped ear trumpet

Closing time, and a man and a woman are checking each other out across the bar: 'Slim pickings.' 'Fat chance.'

"It's been so long—it's like I'm only gay in theory."

Plenty more eligible bachelors in the sea.

Horny Nanny Seeks Lonely Goat Herd.

'I'd like to go to the one most deserving'

Cupid failed.

"No, sorry, we're not that lonely."

"When it comes to loving someone, I never seem to get it right."

"Sorry, pal. I just need to make sure she likes me for me."

Matrimonial Agency "Mating cry"

Speed dating tonight.

Don't humiliate yoursef by going straight to the letterbox, there won't be any Valetines there...

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Love Online.

'Dear Diary, Well... I'm still looking for Mrs. Alright...'

How do I find true love, Randy? You really want my advice? Of course. I'm not getting any younger. My business empire is performing beyond expectations