Matchmaker Seeker Pillows

'You want a 'Paris Hilton' lookalike, do you? -- You seem more like the 'Motel 6' type.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

Real Estate Personals

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'