Matchmaker Seeker Gifts

'You want a 'Paris Hilton' lookalike, do you? -- You seem more like the 'Motel 6' type.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"I wish I had her jewelry." "I wish I had his wife." "I wish I had her figure." "I wish I had his money."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'Fred, don't you think you're over doing it a bit?'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

Real Estate Personals

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

Match maker

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Love and marriage?- I'm afraid I can't help you much with that, young fellow.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

They all have one thing in common...they all have bad breath.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"