Marriage Matchmaker Gifts

'OK! Now shake hands and come out fighting!'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Today's love

"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"It must have been fate that brought us together."

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

'I think Benjamin like me. He linked my homepage to his homepage.'

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

"I'm all for diversity. Let's get someone in here who knows what they're doing."

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Match maker

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Sidekick speed matching service.

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

Using a social media app to date

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"This is the new man. I want you to bring him up to speed."

'I'm afraid we don't have any gentlemen on hand right now -- how about a good old boy?'