Family Matchmaker Gifts

'Dinner's been over for three hours, but Mom keeps jumping back in the frying pan.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"Oh, God, no, please, no, God, no..."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'I was attracted to you but your online photo, but now that I've seen you in High-Def...'

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"When the dating agency said you were full of beans..."

'Okay, but not in person -- I prefer on-line dating.'

Today's love

They knew they were made for each other when their eyes met from across the room at the Same Socks Bar,

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'You and Phil make a great couple. You're perfect for each other!'

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"I don' want another weather forcaster - they're too unpredictable."

Acme Dating Service

Cupid

Dating in Oz

'This one writes some fine lyrics, and the other one has composed some beautiful music, but they just done't seem to hit it off as collaborators.'

"...and if anyone here suspects that the algorithm that put these two together might be flawed, speak now..."

"AI can now scan dating sites and find your best match."

Match maker

'Top is right! He's a scaffolder working on a tower block'

Pucker up!

'Dream-dates don't normally go for nightmares.'

Sidekick speed matching service.

"Of all the finger-painting classes in all the day-care centers in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"The big challenge now is to get them to mate in captivity."

"Nothing works with this guy. Would you like us to shoot the pool guy?"

"Ironically, I think I'm experiencing job burn out!"

Body language interpreters - "He likes you and wishes to dance with you." "That's a get lost."

"I don't believe you can't get close to anyone, Mr Jones. Get back over your own side."

"The preacher's wife needs a new hobby."