Traveling Dater Pillows

"I think I've had bad dates in all 50 states."

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Waterfall of Disappointment

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

She agreed to marry me, but she has to marry three other guys first.

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

I guess we're getting too far from the hotel beach...

Single men in Tahiti

'Let's do lunch.'

Man visits palm reader with 'Doing Anything Tonight?' written on his hands.

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Wanna do lunch?"

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

'But how can we be sure the dating service didn't make a mistake?'

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Single Heating and Cooling technician in search of intelligent, attractive woman. Send picture of your furnace & AC.'

"So tell me again where you're from."

"I'm a fancier of dogs and interesting men."

"I'm so shallow."

"She stood me up. I hosed off my Crocs for nothing."

'You must be Olivia.'

Tunnel of like

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'I wish you wouldn't put these little mints on my pillow when we stay at hotels. They melt into my hair.'