Romantic Dater Pillows

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

'Obviously a cry for help.'

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

On my list of outdoor pursuits I put skinny dipping way ahead of this.

'Of course I'm on the pull - I'm a cricketer.'

"The food isn't bad, but I don't care much for the floor show!"

"And I never kiss in the first two seconds."

Join me in a glass of champagne?

Why,yes -I like those long stems!'

'I'm sorry, Jason. I don't date anyone new until I've googled them.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

Love wine

"I thought you did a great job with your gender neutral statements ... There will be a second date."

"She says you sound like 'fun'!"

"Sorry, had to barf real quick... so where were we?"

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

'Excellent cork, go ahead and pour.'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

"My love language - I give words of affirmation when receiving gifts of cheese."

'Let's do lunch.'

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

"I've become so good at dating—relationships that used to take months now last a matter of days."

"Wanna do lunch?"

'The only thing better than being comped an '83 Amarone, is having a girlfriend who isn't a wine drinker.'

'Fancy a good time - no strings attached?'

"I refuse to squabble in public until we're legally married."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'Romance-minded clown in hot pursuit of woman'

'She won't even look at me. It's like I'm a banner ad.'

I'm looking at photos of potential dates here. Your "screening" process.

"I like anything but long walks on the beach."

'I didn't know people still played footsie.'