Comedy Dater Pillows

ACME DATING SERVICE, 'Do you take trade-ins?'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"He was into feet, but, unforunately, not duck feet."

"We were having a great conversation and then someone clapped."

"And make sure you get my daughter home before sunrise..!"

"I forgot my wallet. Do you know 'Folsom Prison Blues'?"

"You need a mint."

"Thanks for walking me home."

"He's a terrible drunk."

'Hey babe, I got two tickets to the gun show, you interested?'

'Can Laura come out and bark at the moon?'

"Boy, your sister wasn't kidding when she said you were the face of the company."

"I'll wait, my wife's in the loo."

'When I said in my on-line profile that I was athletic, I meant that I like watching sports!'

"We should get together sometime and pee on things."

Dear Diary....I'll never, ever, go on a blind date again!

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

'Obviously a cry for help.'

'This is not what I meant when I said we were going dutch.'

"Barry looks to have pulled a mussel."

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

"You had me at hell."

Why worms have no confidence

'Would you say you lean more to the left?'

I brought a little ice breaker.'

"I'd like to take things slow, Al, so instead of a goodnight kiss I'm going to poke you a few times with this stick."

'The dating agency matched me up with my avatar.'

Singles Baa - "So, what's a girl like ewe doing in a place like this?"

-and which one's your bird?

'Hey good lookin' come here often?'

"Do you 'C'mere!' often?"

"What I don't like about the military is all the emphasis on winning."