Offbeat Musician Gifts

No, not "tenor." I said he's a "ten-er" --- It's advisable to be ten miles away when he sings.

"Ahhh... close enough."

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

Radiator jazz player

Imagine

'Nothing like being your own boss, huh?'

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Off Off Off Off Broadway

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'Have a good day? No thank you. I had other plans.'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

'I envisioned them praying to something entirely different.'

"Would you like to buy a commemorative photo of your firing?"

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Bottom House

"We found this in your brain."

Yearbook photos from Miss Bubble's Hair Styling School.

"I didn't send for a music teacher."

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

"We're here!"

"You're going to fit right in here at the firm."

Man runs with a fox and fishing hook.

'Sir, the Arctic offseason is 24-hour night, and the temperature below zero!'

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

Bad vibes next 3 miles.

Wine

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."

NO, I don't want to hear 'my dog's has fleas'!

Opinion poll. I don't know if I'm politicall right or left, but everybody seems to think I'd definitely off-center.

"We're not allowed back in, remember?"

Somewhere in West Virginia

Zen Master Huineng