Offbeat Entertainer Gifts

Off Off Off Off Broadway

Dinner at the Trapdoors

"Extreme miming"

A rabbit giving another rabbit, 'rabbit ears'.

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'Don't you ever knock?'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

Man playing a harmonica on a exercise bike bores customers in a restaurant

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

Thanksgiving Turkey Fortune: "Why the silence?"

'It's a new reality show about a reality show producer...'

Forcing the Rabbit to Eat the Magicians Hat.

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Would you like to buy a commemorative photo of your firing?"

"Thanks, you've been a great audience. I'm Jerry and I'm here all week."

"Okay. So, apart from being a very shy ventriloquist, is there anything else you can tell me about him?"

"Would you like to see my one-woman show about the specials?"

Adult Magician

"I don't get it. Who doesn't love a circus?"

Tom Waits.

A cocktail in a tuba

Pollution Free Cocktail Cabinet

'You need to slow down - use more color.'

'Now THERE'S a friendship I've never quite understood. That's Ludwig van Beethoven on the left, with Harvey Fernquist, the inventor of telephone 'hold' music!'

Ventriloquists dummy

Yearbook photos from Miss Bubble's Hair Styling School.

"I don't think air guitar counts."

Monk Parrot.

Hospital bed shortages

'What do you mean there's no specific rule that forbids a center fielder from doing that?'

The Imperfect Hostess

"We outsourced our joyless TV dinners to a delightful couple from next door."

'When the alarm clock went off this morning, he said 'I'll drink to that.''

"He's always had a fascination with the hard drinking,hard living writer,the tortured genius. It's an image he's tried to emulate. Unfortunately he's only ever managed the first two parts." "I can't <hic> feel my face."