Fun-loving Partner Gifts

'And do you, Donna, promise to love, honor, cherish... and from time to time, upon request, whip the living shit out of this man?'

'It may not be serious - she often disappears before the washing-up!'

"I love the way these safari trips bring out the animal in you, darling."

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

"Of course I want to have kids, Claire - just not all the time."

'He'll only do chores if we make it a game. But I knew that when I married him.'

Love Flashing

'You're just jealous because I may have already won a million dollars!'

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

"They were all out of rings, so I got you a watch."

First Marriage.

Darling, you're 48 years old, do you have to jump in every puddle?

'I'd like to take you somewhere and ravish you,'

'Unlike Wall Street, with its strict rules regulating insider trading, 'Love Street' remains un-regulated, and I'm pleases to let you know now, before the official announcement, that the position of Rolf Fusco's girlfriend is open.'

"I hope you have a good explanation."

"Before you begin, let's come up with safe word I can say if I need you to stop."

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

Skeleton playing fetch.

Child laughs while making farting sound under arm. Dad says, 'Isn't it nice when they find something they're good at?

Mixed Doubles.

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Holding hands

Bears going water skiing.

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Advanced footsie

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

'Al, that hopeless romantic, sends me love letters written in wine. I just wish he'd use red instead of white.'

"I brought you a wig because you said you like long hair."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"I'm so glad we enjoy the same style foreplay."

(Scheduled) Sex, (Prescription) Drugs & (Classic) Rock & Roll