Humor-loving Homemaker Gifts

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

Modern Parents

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"I was supposed to rinse them first? So, you're telling me somebody designed a machine to wash dishes, but we're supposed to make sure we wash the dishes before we put them in the machine?"

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"O.K., so I shrank. But you must admit I am brighter."

'Before you return Principal Harris's phone call, I would like to remind you that having a 'living' dependant is an excellent tax deduction.'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Someday I hope he grows up into a sports bottle...just like his father.'

'No Trespissing'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

Romance over the Irons

'I've relaxed, put my feet up - Now, where's that good book you promised me?'

"Since he retired I try and give him something to do around the house."

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Witches in kitchen, sign for man says 'Your dinner's in the coven'.

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Nature Girl and the Four Elements.

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

"This love seat stinks!"

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

'It looks like your son hasn't changed his underwear in a year,'

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