Witty Homemaker Gifts

"This is our lazy Susan. We had her on the dining room table but she was just always in the way. So, we moved her in here."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Hungry child

Martha Stewart Takes Over The Universe

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"Drunk, yet orderly"

"I had to skip my workout."

Musical Accompaniment to Household Chores.

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"You love anything tacky, don't you?"

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

"And it comes with a coin filter for when you vacuum under the cushions."

Amy Sedaris

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

A father comes home from work and is given a baby.

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

Modern Parents

'Linda thought her apple pie would be safe...'

Search for Missing Socks

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

'You're not supposed to use fabric softener on ARMOR!'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

"Don't worry...the national immigrant work stoppage does not include our kitchen."

'That's the last time I fluff up a nest.'

Housewife with her toddler hooked on the end of the mop.

'Work, school, soccer, shopping, aside from the occassional girl's night out, today's Mom doesn't have time to sit picking ticks and fleas.'