Homemaker Humorist Gifts

Nature Girl and the Four Elements.

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Yard Sale

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

"Actually, 'Loss of Limb' would be covered under your homeowners policy."

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'Well, by golly! Martha's right, I did make those doors a touch too low.'

Carpet Cows

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!