Home Cook Humorist Gifts

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'To cook is to dare!'

"Changed our mind about the salad, did we?"

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Like death by salad.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

Wok. Don't Wok.

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Health and Safety Gone Mad.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"I flunked out of cooking school. Even the dog won't eat my homework."

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

'I don't think that's what they mean by reducing the wine.'

Chef uses Harp to cut Sausages

'I was in the catering corps.'

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

The Complete Spaghetti Dinner.

'It's all homemade.'

"So why do you need a ladder to make pancakes?"

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Chef copy robot