Humorous Cook Gifts

Will handle pans for food. ?

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Amy Sedaris

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Needs more kale.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Bake off: Flan B

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"For supper tonight, we'll have pizza, and cold pizza for dessert."

Recipes.

Noodle exchange program.

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

'To cook is to dare!'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"Tia Carmen, did you ever use a stool to cook?"

Today's Special: Cream of Leftovers

'Frozen dinners have more calories if you heat them up.'

'I'll tell you what's for dinner if you'll promise not to laugh.'

'Blackened Fish: Cook until the smoke detector goes off.'