Humorous Cooks Gifts

'Needs more kale.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

A Club Sandwitch.

Why did Ernie take that off his wrist and put it here when he had to leave the kitchen? For safety reasons. A watched pot never boils. Ernie says you are what you eat. It's true in his case. Ernie is just like his food. He is sweet, and has some but not too much spice. Plus there's nothing artificial about him. Also like his food, Ernie is an acquired taste. And to me they have both become irresistibly delicious!

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Amy Sedaris

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

Tartar sauce.

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Much of his cooking suffers from burn-out."

'The two things you cook best are meatloaf and apple pie!... Which one is this?'

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Mmmm. How do you get the custard so creamy? You must give me the recipie!'

Noodle exchange program.

"It's a recipe for apple pie."

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

The cake diet.

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

"Bingo, that's what I thought: It's a blood-sausage!"

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

"Our rule of thumb is: if it tastes good, don't eat it."

'How did you ever get this job, Mom?'