Humor-loving Cook Gifts

Silly Seasoning

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Amy Sedaris

'Needs more kale.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

Chef: 'Howz that Octopus coming along Jeff?'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Too much salt!'

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

Noodle exchange program.

Flatware Follies.

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

"I always see the class as half-baked."

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'Check out what I invented! Looks like we're even now!'

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

'Maybe it's one of those super-stations.'

Le Bolshie Chef.

Operating table.

'I like home cooking if it's in someone else's home.'

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

'... And you're positive that you didn't order, fly soup?'

'I know you're sensitive, Wally, but I only asked you to help wash the dishes!'