Cooking Humor Aficionado Gifts

Hell's kitchen /Beans only.

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

Lockdown casserole

Cook and her Maids

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

Murderous Chef

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

"I've been a chef for far too long...."

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Chef told me I had to have guard before I used the mixer!'

'Too much salt!'

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'

Whipping Cream

"I'm sorry about the delay, sir, but Chef's anger management class ran over."

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

"Life is pointless."

Flatware Follies.

And then I said, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." So he said "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." Of course, I had to say, "Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble ..." It happens every year -0 the turkey never fails to put him to sleep!"

'I tried the new restaurant today: they have a three course menu...'

'Apparently, the carrot cake really is to die for.'

"I'd rather be seared by Emeril than sauteed by Rachel."

'Whale DNA was added to my embryo and now all I crave is plankton.'

"I always see the class as half-baked."

"There's a little jelly or something on your chin."