Culinary Humor Aficionado Gifts

"...You're featured as a full-page spread."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

"That's it. We’re toast."

Soup of the month.

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

'The Burrito King.'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

"The meatloaf just tapped S.O.S. in Morse code."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

A Club Sandwitch.

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Lockdown casserole

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Better Not Squash.

'It's labour-saving because with this you'll be able to burn my meals much faster!'

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

Where Deviled Eggs come from

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

"Carpe pizza"

As I say, local produce, locally produced; all our meats tonight come form our local meat processing plant.

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

'Do you want toast with that?'