Culinary Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

Chicken chases chef out of kitchen with knife.

"Nurse, when you're done with my omelet we'll see about reducing Mr. Thompson's fever."

"We have a number of payment options available, including the refinancing of your home, indentured servitude, and organ sale."

"The reason your meringue is crushed is because I distinctly heard you tell me to 'Step on it'."

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'He says you don't have an eating disorder, so you must have a cooking disorder...'

Hansel and Gretal.

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'I'm sorry dinner took so long. Your pork chop got stuck in the toaster.'

"My Gary is such a thoughtful husband! First he walked the dog, then prepared the duck for lunch. It was a fantastic meal, wasn't it?"

"How do I remember orders without writing them? Fatso got the fries, Bitchface got the burger, Pimples got pizza, and Pignose got pulled pork."

"Waiter, I need a soup knife please."

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Your French dip, sir.'

"States of tofu"

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

6 Brothers Falafel

"That's it. We’re toast."

Chez Nous Menu

Soup of the month.

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

"Ninja bread men"