Lover Of Culinary Comedy Gifts

'How about a drink?' - 'You've got gravy.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Wife: 'Ah, honey.....why are you covered in raw fish and rice?' Husband: 'Oh I was running late for the 6:15 and got on a darn sush train by mistake!'

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"I might just get a pie."

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

"Looks like your rock cakes are a big hit this year, dear...."

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Now time for a coffee while hubby cleans up the mess.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

"Monsieur has just ordered a vasectomy..."

The BLTR (the bacon, lettuce, tomato, revolution)

The Fault of the Fowl

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

10,000 Tasty Rabbit Recipes