Lover Of Culinary Humor Gifts

Operating table.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Soup of the month.

"That's it. We’re toast."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

"You're lost. This is Mom's apple pie."

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"All the butter was gone. There was no way out. The puff pastry had to be made with margarine... from a tub."

'The Burrito King.'

'Dial 1-900-Fortune.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Lockdown casserole

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"What do you suggest...the tuna fish or the peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich?"

Better Not Squash.

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'The following programme contains scones of a sexual nature.'

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Bottled, tap or toilet water?"

"What happened to the thin crust guy I married?"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

Where 'Turkey Bacon" Comes From

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"The Knuckle Sandwich is good."

A Pirate Egg Prisoner about to Walk the Plank into a boiling pot of water

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

Gingerbread man sits at desk marked food editor

'No, we don't have any tuna FISH, but we do have salmon FISH, trout FISH, and catfish FISH.'