Culinary Comedian Gifts

"I love it. Who did it?"

Books - 'Cooking a duck' & 'Ducking a cook'.

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

Trucks sprinkle salt and grind fresh pepper on the roads.

The Perfect Garden.

"Your mom cooks the chicken, but your dad makes it dance."

"I'm allergic to penicillin—is there penicillin in the salad?"

"I died in Buffalo."

'Our menu is divided into three sections: Cancer causing foods, artery clogging foods, and foods that are being boycotted for political or environmental reasons.'

"Excuse me, we're out of water."

"Please don't tell me they're making broth."

"Oh no I left my bagpipes in the oven."

'...then we add a smidgin of this - that's less than a dollop, but more than a pinch...'

"No giblets, but there's an organ-donor card."

"I'll have the chicken Tamiflu."

Hot Flash Cook Book.

"Bad news. They found the proof in the pudding."

Keith Floyd.

Not in Service

'These sandwiches are a tad disappointing...well, there's nothing on them.'

Thanksgiving: 'You are what you eat.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

'All I'm saying is you should cut down a bit !'

'The recipe said to simmer uncovered!'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Overzealous health inspectors.

'Thanks, that looks delicious, charge it to my room, would you?'

'Stinkin low carb housing.'

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

Health and safety at work.

A menu with risks and benefits

The true meaning of Thanksgiving...

'I didn't cook the books. Instead, I incorporated them into a tasty tuna noodle casserole!'

'What choice do we have? She knows too much.'