Comedian Of Cuisine Gifts

'The food is disgusting.' 'And such small portions.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"States of tofu"

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

6 Brothers Falafel

Soup of the month.

Chez Nous Menu

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"That's it. We’re toast."

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

Night of the Latkes

'Like death by salad.'

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Wok. Don't Wok.

Cookbooks

"Ninja bread men"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Would you like some wings?"