Cuisine Comedian Gifts

Night of the Latkes

"Corned beef and cabbage"

"Tell me, is a single spaghetti a spaghetus or what?"

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'Your French dip, sir.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"States of tofu"

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

"That's it. We’re toast."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Chez Nous Menu

6 Brothers Falafel

Soup of the month.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Like death by salad.'

Cookbooks

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

"Ninja bread men"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"