Culinary Comedic Gifts

Lot took a small piece of his wife as a keepsake, and because goat meat tended to be bland.

'Ok. I'm cooking dinner. What sounds good?'

'Sorry, this table is taken.'

'Well, you did say 'well done', Sir!'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"And I'll also take my steak raw thank you."

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

"States of tofu"

'Your French dip, sir.'

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

Too Many Lawyers Spoil the Broth

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

6 Brothers Falafel

"That's it. We’re toast."

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

Soup of the month.

Chez Nous Menu

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

Peter's Pitas - now with pickled peppers.

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

Night of the Latkes

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Would you like some wings?"

As you like it - 'Waiter, chicken with watercress please' 'I'm sorry sir we haven't any chicken left ... but if you wish I bring you a larger portion of watercress...'

Cookbooks

"Ninja bread men"

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."