Laugh-loving Cook Gifts

Noodle exchange program.

Amy Sedaris

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'For a small extra charge, we can provide a specially-formulated digestive enzyme.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Needs more kale.'

Luigi's Career Change From Pizza Shop Owner to Masseuse Goes Smoothly...

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"Patience, you can have it back in a minute..."

Great Moments in Culinary History.

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Alphabet soup? -- oh, an intellectual, eh?'

'To cook is to dare!'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

"Some volcano roll!"

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

Whoa! Willard, you know you can't put metal in a microwave! Why not just heat it the old fashioned way and use your nostrils?

Tofu: Firm, Soft, Amusingly Jiggly

Le Bolshie Chef.

Operating table.

'I thought I'd try making marmalade. Do we have any marmals?'

'I have to go on a diet. Evidently the best things in life aren't fat free!!'

Home on the Range.

'I can't cook wooly mammoth like your mother used to because wooly mammoths are EXTINCT!'

"Sure it tastes like homemade... your wife works here."

It's hard to when I'm always under pressure."

Hell's kitchen /Beans only.

'Something moved!'

Escaping Egg

"Today we will have the Swedish buffet!"