Laugh-loving Gourmet Gifts

"We're in for a real treat tonight. Freddy's preparing his blackened swordfish."

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Amy Sedaris

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"I like my steak well done."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'The chef's hat was delicious! But the hair...'

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

Frisbee dog catching pizza dough

'Coool! What's that called? 'Suicide bomber chicken'?'

The mushroom pickers

Noodle exchange program.

"What will change my life?"

"If you tasted like a Umami, where would you be hiding?"

'I add the juice of one bottle of brandy.'

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

"Some volcano roll!"

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

"You're right in berating me, ma'am, as I personally decided the price of each entree..."

Holy Pizza

Christmas canape?

'Of course, the peas are fresh. I personally opened the can myself.'

House of Beans.

"So you hired them to do the tidying up?"

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

Man eating a bad oyster

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

You complimented the chef on his dumplings-now he wishes to return the compliments!