Joke-loving Gourmand Gifts

'I didn't say your meal wouldn't contain fat. I said the fat would be free.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"I remember his last words were, 'Another bite and I'll burst!'..."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

What makes the flies in your soup "artisanal"? I know, right? Personally, I think it's just a lot of hype perpetrated by the flies. Menu.

Supermarket Warehouse. At night, with just security here, the products sing classic karaoke. The orange juice is belting Elvis'"All Shook Up." Peanut butter and jelly performed a duet of "Love Will Keep Us Together." children's breakfast cereal sang "Sugar, Sugar." And sriracha sauce did a rendition of "Great Balls of Fire"! What song will the ground beef choose? Jimmy Buffett's "Cheeseburger in Paradise," of course!

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'Sorry to keep you waiting, sir.'

'Todays special - egg on Ronay'

'No, you can't complain to the waiter about the vegetables floating in your soup. It's vegetable soup!'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

Haute Cuisine Meets Low Couture

Damaged goods & lawyer's torts 50 off.

"Rare, medium or well done?"

'No, I don't have a favorite. Dung is dung.'

The mushroom pickers

"What will change my life?"

"Some volcano roll!"

The Puffin Restaurant: Today's special - regurgitated sand eels

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Holy Pizza

Chef and restaurant patrons waiting outside clinic.

Boiling Point

Christmas canape?

House of Beans.

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

"Take Away Food" tramp waiting round corner to pounce

"I no longer have the intestinal fortitude for street food."

Man eating a bad oyster

"That was the last of the O-negative."

Fast Food

'Bad news... all our tests came back with you as delicious.'

'His snacks and his meals are beginning to OVERLAP!'

'What...and you take the plunge to call this a gourmet restaurant??!'

Compliments to the chef.