Hilarious Home Chef Gifts

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

Amy Sedaris

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Needs more kale.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Noodle exchange program.

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

'To cook is to dare!'

Ties and Jackets Required.

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

'Someone's been tampering with this chicken.' 'It tastes like chicken.'

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

'I downloaded these recipes. Care to try virtual meatloaf?'

Rabbits on Pinterest

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.