Hilarious Home Cook Gifts

'We're having fish sticks for supper.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'Shall we turn the extractor fan down a bit...?'

Amy Sedaris

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'Needs more kale.'

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"The recipe? Well, there's lentils, garlic, tofu, and a pinch of our illegal secret ingredient."

"How many times must I tell you, the floor is sloping?"

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

"You're not supposed to answer her when she talks to us."

Noodle exchange program.

A vampire using ground pepper on his new victim.

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

Beth realized she wasn't such a great cook the night she tried to make an apple pie. 'Wow! Now that is good meatloaf!'

'Something in the fridge has gone off.'

'I thought it was my turn to cook, but I didn't make anything because I wanted you to take me out to eat.'

Your Dinner is in the Tin

'I found a way to make dinner in half the time. I don't finish it.'

'To cook is to dare!'

Roger wouldn't prepare any meal without first consulting his pie chart.

'Mom's a lousy cook.'

'I downloaded these recipes. Care to try virtual meatloaf?'

Ties and Jackets Required.

Disued Lighting - Heating - Cooking.

'Sorry, dear, but upon advice from my attorney, I decline to give you an opinion on your Creamed Tarragon Flounder.'

"You asked for the soup of the day, you didn't specify what day."

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