Quirky Homemakers Gifts

Picture of missing sock on milk carton.

"Officer, the washing machine ate my brother!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Man enters a palm reading establishment carrying a tropical plant.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Santa 'Freezing' Claus.

'Okay, kids...time for your bath.'

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

Doulton Canada Geese

"Oh that, that's my holiday home."

'I wasn't to know it's a live shell officer, we've been using it as a door-stop for years!'

'It's a coffee-book table.'

'I told you I didn't want to talk about it!'

Superintendent

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

'We live in a designer trainer.'

Arctic Snails.

Artist Painting his Television.

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"The decorator was here. He said we should have a room in which we don't sit down."

"Are you willing to relocate?"

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

Uses for Deactivated Missiles: Objects d'Art