Quirky Home Dwellers Gifts

The little old lady who lived in a vacuum.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'I've been a Sox fan for years.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

Homes of the font designers

"I bought a new summer condo."

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

Junk Mail Shredder.

"It has some charming original features."

"The seller is highly unmotivated."

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.