Quirky Home Dwellers Gifts

The little old lady who lived in a vacuum.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Carpet salesman, "There's a bit of tyre damage, but not so anyone would notice."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

Homes of the font designers

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"I bought a new summer condo."

Cow Fishing on the mighty tundra.

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

Junk Mail Shredder.

"It has some charming original features."

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.