Quirky Home Dweller Gifts

'It's the only affordable housing we could afford.'

I think I just figured out why this place was available.

"Look, it's not ideal but we both have to live with it."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Not to mention the park view."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

octopus knitting a jumper...

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'I've been a Sox fan for years.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"You rang?"

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"Interesting story behind this one..."