Quirky Home Dweller Pillows

'It's the only affordable housing we could afford.'

"Look, it's not ideal but we both have to live with it."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Not to mention the park view."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

octopus knitting a jumper...

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

Man look over neighbours fence at a man mowing his lawn. He is wearing a suit of armour to protect him from stones being thrown up by mower.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"You rang?"

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

Homes of the font designers

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."