Quirky Kitchen Dweller Pillows

"What? No! Norma, the hairnets are not edible!"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

"I'm pretty sure your grandma's secret apple pie recipe is not considered an unauthorized classified document."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"Interesting story behind this one..."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"I bought a new summer condo."

Junk Mail Shredder.

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

Ants take cheese and grater

"It has some charming original features."

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'