Quirky Kitchen Dweller Gifts

"What? No! Norma, the hairnets are not edible!"

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

' ... and this is the half bath.'

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Just add eggs. That sounds easy.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

"I'm pretty sure your grandma's secret apple pie recipe is not considered an unauthorized classified document."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"How about supper in the tub tonight, Hon?"

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

"I bought a new summer condo."

Junk Mail Shredder.

"It has some charming original features."

'Hope I'm not catching you with a bird in the bath, Harold?'

Ants take cheese and grater

Teapot

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'