Quirky Kitchen Companion Pillows

"I can assure you ladies all our eggs come from free range chickens."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"You're the lid to my pot."

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

Salt and Pepper

I don't know what happened to the poor guy, but he's visibly shaken.

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

Wedding Chefs

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"Are you as excited as I am?"

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Things were going along great with Greg and me, and then the 'Diceman' returned."

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

"Mmm....say, cookie! What's this garbage you're feeding us?"

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

Love is Love

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'Yourplace.com or mine?'

In his own way, Todd does his part to save the whales.

"I made you a vest."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

Teapot

"Gourmet burgers on rustic platters - coming right up!"

Ants take cheese and grater

"No-one nit picks like you..."

'Get off me you Crepe.'

Cuckoo blender

"What they hell are we looking at."

'...So it's an orange orange Roughy smoothie?'

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

I've spent much less time with other people recently, but my refrigerator and I have never had a closer relationship.