Quirky Kitchen Gadget Enthusiast Pillows

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

'Well, of course it's a toaster. There's no law that says it has to be a crystal ball.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

GMOs: The Next Generation

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

Tin Opening

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

Patent Office: ". . . It's a phoneless cord."

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

Motor-blender.

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

"Butt cracker"

Swiss Kitchen

Pocket Knife Food Processor

'And exactly where did you find the 'antique salami slicer'?'

"I swear- the next one of you that beeps at me is gonna be sorry."

'I don't know if artificial intelligence in a toaster is a good thing. It just seems to make toast whenever it feels like it.'

"For your birthday, I got you a food processor!"

"Look what I found on sale! Measuring cups to use for all your recipes!"

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

'Hot indeed.'

101 uses of a dead cat: chopping board.