Kitchen Gadget Aficionado Pillows

"No, I don't want to play chess. I just want you to reheat the lasagna."

Thank you very much for the lovely wedding present...

"Will you shut up about world domination and just make the damn coffee."

'Safe for use in Micro-wave.'

"Don't you ever miss the hustle and bustle of the old tar pits?"

"Why don't we need to fix the microwave, and have you seen my curling iron?"

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

GMOs: The Next Generation

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"Still haven't quite figured out the pressure cooker, huh dad?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

F&E Subs. Hey, you replaced the little swords with periscope-shaped toothpicks! Nice touch, Ernie!

"Wow! The big guy! And what kind of B.T.U.s am I looking at here?"

"Doctor. I am speechless"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Drat - the water purifier is on backwards.'

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

Bread maker, coffee maker, tea maker, pasta maker.

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

Tin Opening

'This old VCR warms a mean bagel.'

The Welsh Rarebit Mchine

Swiss Kitchen

"Butt cracker"

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

'All the money we saved buying bulk food on sale we blew on this huge freezer!'

"Here's our everything's included meal kit. How do they stuff a cook and dishwasher in there?"

Motor-blender.

'Of course, the self-cleaning models tend to cost a little more.'

Pocket Knife Food Processor

'Ahh, but it's a Dyson saltshaker.'