Quirky Home Seeker Gifts

As you can see, it's prime real-estate: Within walking distance of the sewerage-outlet...

The Movers Strip - Airport at the end of the garden.

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Not to mention the park view."

'It started out as just a little knot on the floor,'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

""Stop fidgeting. This is supposed to be a still-life."

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'This place is rather unusually located. Do you folks like sunsets?'

'We live in a designer trainer.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

'Let's take out a second mortgage and add a pizza garage.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Coming Soon: Haunted Homes on 60-foot lots.

"You rang?"

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"I'm sorry—the agency told me they'd cleared away last summer's people."

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."

'It's no spelling mistake-the dining room is in the basement.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"Interesting story behind this one..."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."