Quirky Housing Seeker Gifts

"Not to mention the park view."

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

Beware of the Lawn

'Bed & Bagel'

Mouse real estate!

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

"I know it's small and expensive, but wait till you see all the Pokemon."

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

Frank and I are looking into moving to that new condo that went up next door

Junk Mail Shredder.

"Mmm... not sure about these new high-rises..."

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

'The former occupants were a little rambunctios, but we'll redecorate the apartment for you.'

'No, Janet, there is no mini-bar--but we do have mini-baccarat.'

Tenants and Landlords - 'Are we nearly there? ...'

"Is it right on the lagoon?"

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

Bikini Between Buildings

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit