Quirky Home Buyer Gifts

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

Igloo For Sale: No Termites! NO Carpenter ants! NO fleas! No mice! No rats! Absolutely pest free!

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

'And if you look to your left between the condos and the ABD store, you can see the ocean.'

"Not to mention the park view."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

An exaggeration of estate agents

Mouse real estate!

Beware of the Lawn

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'No, we did not order a corner unit.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"Well, as a matter of fact, no, you didn't tell us you kept exotic pets when you sold us the house!"

Strip Mine Estates - Mineral Rights? They're All Yours.

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

'Do we want this one parallel with the floor or the ceiling?'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'He missed a 5-foot putt for eagle last year, so he had an exact replica of the green build into the yard.'

"Let's see - you might be just right for a little 2-turret, 1 1/2 moat unit I'm renting on West 58th street."

"Can I suggest a hoarder's house? It's perfect for a young family of rats to move in and share with the current owner..."

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

'Buy this house and get two wonderful neighbours!'

Junk Mail Shredder.

Catchment Area for Teachers

'Stu and I joined the Adopt-A-Highway program.'

'Problems finding good, affordable housing?'

"Is it right on the lagoon?"

"I decided to buy a tiny house."

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

"Baldo, I don't need advice on looking cool in a new car."

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

"This model is priced higher, but it comes with glow-in-the-dark stars."