Curious Home Buyer Gifts

'Buy this house and get two wonderful neighbours!'

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

Open House of Horrors

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Floodplain close - House on stilts with ladder. Estate Agent saying, 'Welcome onto the property ladder...''

"This neighborhood has a strong sense of community that borders on siege mentality."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

'Is there anything we can do to repay you other than to repay you?'

'A new concept. The inside out house.'

Mortgages up 'Where?'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

'And this is the sunken living room.'

'And every spring, a koi pond shows up in a corner of the basement.'

Catchment Area for Teachers

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

'Mr. Jones? I've found a house that fits your funds perfectly! It even has a little garden!'

'Sorry, no, but thanks for bringing a little laughter into my life.'

"I don't get it. How come it's so cheap?"

"Good news, they accepted your offer!"

Affordable homes coming soon - 'If they build these then our house will become affordable...!'

'The owners are prepared to accept any reasonable offer.'

'We may find that there are hidden service charges with this place ...'

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

'No windows. You wouldn't want windows in a town like this.'

'In return for storing the nuclear waste, we get a big break on the mortgage.'

"Did I mention the view?"

"Does the water always come through the ceiling like that?"

"It's all I could get."

"One question: Do the windows open?"

'How interesting, the subdivision's built on an empty mineshaft.'

Ugh! Professional Beggars

'I don't like all these mice. Point out the ones you don't like and I'll throw them out.'